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Top Tips for Dealing With a Parent Who Denies Dementia Symptoms
Written by OurParents Staff
about the author
4 minute readLast updated April 20, 2023
Millions of people around the world are living with dementia. It is the leading cause of a loss of independence in seniors and one of the hardest diseases to accept. So, what do you do when your aging parent refuses to admit there is a problem?
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In this article
Why seniors deny dementia symptoms
Is Dad or Mom having difficulty remembering appointments or names? Are they getting lost on the way home from the grocery store? You may notice it is becoming more difficult to have a conversation as your parent becomes confused and can’t find the words to finish a sentence. The signs of dementia are obvious to you, but when you mention the possibility to your parent, they deny there’s anything wrong and refuse to get help. What can you do? It’s important to understand the two main reasons why a parent would deny dementia symptoms If your parent has anosognosia, they’re incapable of recognizing or understanding their cognitive decline. It’s more than just denial. You will not be able to convince them of the dementia symptoms that you see. Admitting that one has dementia makes it real. True denial that stems from fear can be a psychological coping mechanism. If your parent does not acknowledge that there is a problem, they may feel that the problem is minor or fleeting and does not have to be dealt with.
Anosognosia
Anosognosia is simply a word that means a lack of awareness that one has an impairment. This can be cause by damage to the brain that occurs with dementia.Fear
Many people have an extreme fear of being diagnosed with dementia. Can you imagine anything scarier than being told that you will progressively decline and lose your ability to remember those around you? That you will lose control of every part of your life?
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How to handle dementia denial
Your parent does not have to accept that they have dementia for you to help them. Getting an official diagnosis is more important. Alzheimer’s Disease International states that early diagnosis of dementia will: Use the following steps to help guide you and your parent through a diagnosis of dementia:
- Allow you to have the time to take advantage of therapies that may enhance their quality of life and slow the progression of the disease
- Give both you and your parent time to make decisions about financial and legal issues
- Prepare for the changes that will come as the disease progresses
- Collect detailed information. Educate yourself on what the symptoms of dementia are and then make a list of the signs that you have noticed. Make note especially of any changes that you have seen over the last year or two. The Alzheimer’s Association recommends listing when the symptoms began and how frequently they occur. Ask your parent if you can accompany them to their next doctor’s appointment and let them know you want to talk to the doctor about your observations.
- Encourage your parent to keep track of changes in their communication, daily functions, and memories. Let your parent know that there are often other causes for changes in memory and that seeing the doctor can allow you to rule out treatable conditions.
- If your parent can accept the diagnosis or is aware of the dementia symptoms, be honest and supportive. Many people in the early stages of dementia continue to live a happy and fulfilling life for years with proper support.
- Start small. Your first steps will be to educate yourself on the signs of dementia, keep track of changes that you notice, and encourage your parent see a doctor.
- Tell your parent that you are on their team and that you want what is best for them. Be aware of what the typical tests and questions that your doctor will offer.
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Ways to offer support
Even after seeing a doctor and receiving a diagnosis of dementia, your parent may still refuse to acknowledge that there is a problem. Your job is not to prove them wrong, but to focus on what you need to do to keep your parent healthy and safe. The Alzheimer’s Association offers a tool called ALZNavigator that helps families devise a personalized action plan and connect with local resources. You can also call the 24-hour Alzheimer’s helpline at 800-272-3900 to speak with a Care Consultant. A trained counselor or geriatric care manager can help you address safety concerns like driving. You can’t force your parent to accept the symptoms of dementia that you see. Part of dementia is often an inability to remember or recognize the problem. Realizing this can help you to feel more compassion for and less frustration with your parent. What you can do is educate yourself on dementia symptoms, take your parent to see the doctor, and plan for what you will do to help keep them parent safe.
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